Christmas

In a world filled with worry and anxiety, I am finding peace. The true inner peace I have been searching for. I am still snappy with my children and I get irritated with my husband. But I have a clearer focus on what REALLY matters. I have known Christ since I was a little girl. I met him once in a dream I can still remember it as clear as day. But, He hasn't always been my focus. I have always loved and worshipped Him. (my definition, not His) But I have been learning lately. Learning what God expects and wants, even demands. God isn't "happy" God isn't concerned about the type of house I live in or the clothes I wear. God isn't going to keep me from crying. God has laid out what he requires from us. What is right and wrong. We don't get to interpret it. We don't get to pick and chose what "works for us". We get to chose if will obey or not. When we obey, we get a relationship with God that fills the voids we have. We don't get the great jobs, or perfect health. We get the peace that comes from Him. This Christmas has been the best so far. I am not stressing about buying gifts. I haven't sent out cards. I have decorated, made cookies with my daughter and her friends. I have laughed that only half the outside lights come on. I have thought about what I can give. Not what I can buy. Some people may be disappointed. But I know that God isn't. I am celebrating the birth of His son by giving my family what they want most. A happy mama. I am giving from my heart not my purse. I plan to make this a family tradition.

I remember

How do you pick a favorite memory? When I think of Grandma, so many things come to mind. I think of her character, her strength, her sweetness. I didn't get to spend enough time with her to have a favorite memory. Most of my memories aren't my own, they've been shared with me by someone else. I do remember being in the kitchen with her frying fish and even as a child I was amazed how she could cook without making a mess. I remember their house being spotless yet completely welcoming. I remember climbing into bed and the sheets and blankets smelling heavenly. When I think of Grandma, I think of the ways her eyes always blinked and the gentleness of her voice. I remember her doing the dishes, constantly. No wonder her hands were always so soft. What I will never forget about her though, is her strength. The tenacity to keep Grandpa in line, the house in order,the chores done, to keep on going no matter what came along. She raised 2 girls, 1 of them being my mother. From what I hear she was enough to push any mom over the edge. But she did a beautiful job. I know they've followed in her footsteps to be gracious, loving, strong women. After Grandpa passed away, she kept on going. I was amazed. I thought she would be lost without him. But she held fast for so many years. She will be deeply missed. But I take comfort in knowing that she is free and is together again with so many that have gone before her. I am thankful that God finally took her home so she can go fishing with Grandpa once again.